Last night, the Swans invited Saigon’s Acting Austrade Commissioner to draw the winning ticket at the Office. With a drum roll, he drew his own ticket. Redraw!! 

He tried again and drew the winner of the first draw, Kerry Armstrong! Redraw!!

Ah-mazing scenes, indeed. So he drew for the third time and… enter Patty and Mick’s brother, Brian O’Reilly.

When the big fella of an Irishman was asked how it felt to be drawn 3rd in the Swans 3rd raffle, he said he “felt like (I’ve) come 1st in the 1st”. With regard to the controversy surrounding the first two names drawn from the hat, Brian the Likeable dismissed it as being “nothing more than corruption at the highest levels”.

As the new tradition demands, Brian, led by the Mega bottle of Jim Beam, set off on the Walk of Fame. Escorted by the two Swanettes, he waved and smiled to the adoring crowd as he did complete circuits of both upstairs and downstairs. Cameras flashed, young women squealed and others managed to touch his hands. Some said we should make a film about this Great Man who could turn 3rds into 1sts. The film would cover everything and be called, “The Life of Brian”.

Brian described his 15 minutes of Fame as being, “Just the Best”.